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Thursday 13 September 2012

A Perfect Pie

Depression is really hard. It doesn't matter how much you try and buck yourself up, it's just not possible. It doesn't matter how many people tell you to stop dwelling on it and get up and do something instead, it's often hard just to stand up, let alone move around. A lot of days are hard, even when I blog about something more cheery, because otherwise my blog would be too "boring" for words. There's often a sense that I am lazy when I find I can't seem to get anything done because I'm moving through treacle. I saw this and thought    
yes, maybe that partly explains it. I spent two and a half years killing myself with overtime to please a Boss that was never going to be satisfied, because of a hidden agenda and now I'm rebelling. This would mean I only have another year to go of being totally lazy before that debt is re-paid. Sadly, I'm not convinced it works like that.

The other thing depression ruins is your ability to be rational. To see the every day disasters of life in a sensible adult rational way. You want to be able to be calm and balanced, but emotions and feelings seem to just flood in. Take my pie for example............

Yesterday, although moving through my "fug" (not sure what this word means, but it's a bit like fog and a bit like sticky mud!!), I thought I would be a good Mommy and make Chicken and Mushroom pie for tea - the one Froogs taught me. There was enough filling for two pie tins, but only enough pastry to top one and a half, but I didn't let that worry me too much. The trouble started after I'd put the pies in the oven to cook.  

When the buzzer went to say they were done, I opened the door and was dismayed. I had forgotten, somehow that puff pastry, you guessed it, puffs up. I had put the best pie too high in the oven and now it wouldn't come out because the top was higher inside the oven. I tried to slide the oven shelf out and catch the pie behind it and in the process of doing so, lost hold of the pie which spilled the best parts of it's contents in the back corner of the oven.

Well, with that, the tears started to flow. My DH came runnning when the sound of my blubbing and wailing got too high and when he said it was Ok, he nearly ended up with the rest of the pie down his shirt!!

However, wonderful man that he is, when faced with me screaming in his face, "No, it's not Ok, everything I do just turns to ****", he stayed very calm and replied, "I know it doesn't feel Ok right now, but look at what you've made............

...........you've made one pie with filling, but no top...............


...........and one pie, with a lovely top, but no filling..............

.......... so between the two, they average out at one perfect pie."

I must admit he did have me chuckling, even through my tears.

Lots of Love Arwedd xx

9 comments:

  1. I'd keep that wonderful man.
    Love from Mum
    xx
    PS Who cleaned the mess up?

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    Replies
    1. I have to be honest and admit that he did!! I went to do later in the evening and he had already done it, bless him. I'm definitely trying to hang on to him!!

      Arwedd xx

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  2. Which pie was the tastiest? Xxx I know exactly what 'fug' feels like. Xxxx

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    Replies
    1. The boys like the puff pastry better than the filling, so I guess the one with the top.

      I've decided next time not to even try and make the pie. I'll cook the filling on the hob as ususal and put the pastry in the oven on a baking tray on it's own to cook and cut it to go on top of the filling when it's served onto the plate. So I did learn something from the experience even though I couldn't see that at the time!!

      Arwedd xx

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  3. As darling Froogs says, "Some days you are the dog, some days you are the lamp-post." Hang on in there, and when it all gets too much, put your knickers on your head and tell the world to b***er off for a bit. xxxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wibble!!

      Do you think maybe God is trying to teach me about patience? If he is, I just wish he'd hurry up, ;-)

      Arwedd xx

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  4. Laughing at your mishap :0 At least yours was contained in the oven, unlike the time I dropped a cooked chocolate self saucing pudding, broke the dish & had pudding down the cupboards & all over the floor. It happens to the best of us, glad DH was there for you & perhaps I'll try the crying thing next time I spill something, in the hope that mine cleans it up for me! Wish me luck with that..........
    Hope your fug, fugs off soon.
    Take Care Sx

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  5. I remember baking a cake in a loose bottom tin, the only trouble was that I was so busy with other things I forgot to line it.
    That oven took me ages to clean afterwards and I was furious with myself. I can laugh about it now and the experience has gone down in family history. My grown up kids treat all my similar "accidents" affectionately as motherisms.

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  6. I really hope your feeling better today. I've been there and I know how horrible you feel. Your right you become so irrational. Your finished pies do look yummy. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Have a lovely weekend. Ali x

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